Wouldn’t it be interesting to see an ‘ON SALE’ sign on the man you want?
Imagine walking down the street on a windy day, everything flying all over the place, you’re struggling to keep your skirt where it belongs and out of nowhere a large paper hits your face. Obviously you’re not pleased by the whole scenario; you manage to get it off your face to realize it’s a magazine pull out. There are pictures of men on it, with the description of the qualities they all posses, you turn it over and wow! The picture of that man you have always dreamed of and it reads “eligible bachelors on sale now at ABC mall. Get the man you want for only $5.99”.
I know this is highly unlikely but, what if it was legit and the only way to get the man of your dreams was at a store? What would you do?
Would you rush to the store and push every lady out of the way to get that man? I bet you wouldn’t even wait for the store manager to open up the doors, you wouldn’t wait in line, you would push your way through the doors and you wouldn’t stop for nobody until you get to that section in the store tagged “Mr Right” or “Prince Charming” you could almost feel your dreams come true but as you lift your eyes, you see the most horrifying thing ever; that sign “sold out!” what would you do? How disappointed will you feel?
MR RIGHT IS MARRIED
It is amazing that women today still hold out for ‘Mr. Perfect”, ‘prince charming’ and ‘Mr. right’, new flash! Prince charming married Cinderella, Mrs. Perfect just had a third baby for Mr. Perfect and Mr. Right; oh well, he is on his honeymoon with Mrs. Right.
So what does this mean? Will you not get the man of your dreams? Are you doomed to be single because the man you want is married or unavailable? Should you just give up and resign to fate?
There are over 30,000 eligible bachelors in your state, how many have you met? Now, I’m not saying go on a dating spree, I’m stating that he is still out there and you can both find each other.
ARE YOU ‘MISS RIGHT’?
One of my mentors during a women’s seminar asked “if the man of your dreams were to meet you today, will you be the woman of his dreams?” well, are you Mr. Right’s miss right?
We spend most of our time waiting for Mr. Right instead of improving ourselves and becoming the woman God intended for us to be. You can’t truly know who you want to spend the rest of your life with if you don’t even know the person you are currently spending your life with _YOU.
We make a list of the qualities our “Mr. Right” should posses and we judge everyman by it but, we never ask ourselves if we are the woman our ideal man will marry. Let’s take a test today, take out you list and let us determine how well you would do on that list.
The qualities listed below are based on the top ten qualities written by a few randomly selected women.
- A God Fearing Man:
Most Christian women have this feature as item 1 on their list; “I want a man that knows God” they say, so I ask, do you know God?
Knowing God is not always indicated by attending every service, singing in the choir and posting #Godwin on Instagram, it is about a lifestyle that is completely turned to God or is daily turning to God. It’s beyond just praying in the morning and filling your playlist with worship by Hillsong, it’s about the walk, the fellowship, the friendship. The more we think we know God, the more we realize there is so much more we don’t know. Knowing God shouldn’t be enough, loving him should be the goal. When a man truly loves God, he will learn to accept and love you too. A man that loves God, wants a woman who will love God with him, and build a home together where God is king, are you that woman?
- A Rich Man:
I can relate to wanting to be comfortable, but can you truly ask yourself why you want a man who is rich? Could it be that you want to spend his money on clothes and shoes and frivolities? Or do you really want to a better life for your kids than you had? Ladies, you need to know that a man who works hard for his money desires a prudent wife not a shopaholic. Are you that woman?
I think the goal should be to find a man who is responsible, one who has a job and is faithful at his job, and considers it a top priority to care of his family, cos’ he can be rich and not consider his family his priority.
- A man with a vision:
I love when I hear women say ‘I want a man who has a future’ great! I say, but a man who has a plan for his life already knows the kind of woman that together they can build a future. He doesn’t want no ‘dream-talking’, ‘when-I-get-married-I-will’ kind of woman, no! He wants a woman who also has a plan and a life.
You need to first identify with who God has made you to be, discover your purpose, and what you want to do with your life before you can truthfully identify the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Women often drop the ball in this area (it is changing today though); most women live their lives waiting to be married, they suspend their dreams and goals because it might scare men off. I want to challenge you today to take a step towards your dreams; buy that land, build that house, take that job in France, learn another language, start up your firm, buy your car and when you meet the right man for you; you will realize that your dreams fit together.
- A Man who will love me unconditionally:
oooh I love this one_ that man who will love me for me; flaws, baggage and all. We want that love that will weather the storm, survive in the fire and outlast the famine, that one true love that makes us feel special (at this point I’m gonna pick up a pin and burst that bubble you are in). This kind of love is possible but, it is not automatic neither does it come as the default setting of your intended partner; it requires all the characteristics of the love described in 1Cor. 13; Patience, sacrifice, selflessness, humility, acceptance, support, forgiveness etc.
It takes two people to make love last in a relationship or marriage. Are you willing to accept his baggage and weakness without judging him? If he hurts you, within human and reasonable limits, can you forgive? Will you still love him when he clearly doesn’t deserve it? When the honeymoon phase is over will you work through the issues together? A man that will love you that much learned to love from his father_ God, he has come to understand love and it has become the content of his character.
Ask yourself this, when was the last time you did something for someone else expecting nothing in return? When was the last time you went out of your way to be a blessing to someone who probably didn’t deserve it? You might be wondering why all these questions, I need to remind you that charity begins at home, if you are loving to the people around you, loving your partner will be easy.
- A Faithful Man:
First I’m gonna say that if he truly loves God, and willingly accepts God’s love, he will choose to be faithful to you, to his vows and to his family. The major debate over time has been what if he still cheats though he loves God? Well is he a righteous man? If he is, then he may and sometimes will fall but he will rise up again and in most cases God will use that unpleasant situation to help you grow in your walk with him.
What if he stays faithful and you don’t? What then should he do? If you want a faithful man, you should be faithful also.
- A Romantic Man:
Don’t we all love to wake up to breakfast in bed, a clean house, a view of the beach from some resort he flew you to the night before? We want a man that will surprise us and does things ‘just-because’, I love that too. However, if only the man has to be romantic and spontaneous he will get weary after a while. Learn how to plan surprises for him too and buy him gifts ‘just-because’ and he will always remain the man of your dreams.
- A Sexual Man:
Yes we are Christian women but we do want a healthy sex life when we get married. I mean after waiting this long, it had better be amazing, filled with sparks and fireworks. Question; how do you know if he is ‘good’ if you aren’t meant to (and should not) try? Are you sure you are ‘good’ too? If you are a virgin, you don’t even know what to expect, sure you’ve heard stories but you don’t really know and if you aren’t a virgin but have been celibate since you became born-again, are you sure you will be good enough for him too? The truth is you can never truly know.
When the time comes there will be a few kinks that you will both need to work out before you can finally find your rhythm and that requires openness and honesty in your relationship. Women who are open to their husbands end up have a more rewarding sex life than others. Ask yourself; am I open to change and positive compromise presently? Am I willing to put the needs of my partner ahead of mine? Am I willing to try out new things? Can I be open and honest enough to tell my husband what I want and if he is open enough to understand without feeling intimidated? If your answer to these questions is yes then you are well on your way.
- A man’s man:
I asked a woman why she wanted a man’s man and she said “you know, when my friends and I talk about our husbands mine has to be the best” wow! We want the man that other men want to be; he is strong and defends your honor (might even punch out a few dudes for you), he carries you into the house, he is in charge, he always takes initiative and controls the situation, he is masculine, the alpha male, the top dog. Interesting! Are you the kind of woman who can submit to the “man’s man”?
- An Intelligent Man:
We want the man that can challenge us intellectually; when we speak, he actually has an idea of what we are talking about. That kind of man wants a woman who understands what is going on at a business dinner. Some women lack general knowledge of events happening around them. Who is the president of your country? How many states are in your country? What is trending on the news today? As simple as these questions are, some women don’t know the answers. When was the last time you picked up a book or read the papers? Do you watch anything but E on your TV? You don’t need to know everything about everything but do you know a little about something? Read a little, no man likes ‘’beauty and no brains’’.
- A Confident Man:
My mentor once told me that, ‘’Women are the masters of jealousy and insecurity’’; “where are you honey?” “Who was that on the phone?” “I don’t like your new secretary” “she calls you too much” “who is always texting you?” and it never ends. We become Private investigators and SSS agents, constantly on our “man’s” case yet, we want a man who is secure enough to let us keep male friends, advance in our career (sometimes earn more or become more public) and be the woman we want to be.
A confident man has a healthy self esteem, he knows his worth and his place, he is continually building his character in the word of God, he is not threatened by your success because he knows you have a purpose in God and so does he.
Some women build insecurity in their partner by their actions while they were single; they kept secrets and lied to their partner about little things—destroying the trust that is necessary for their relationship to succeed. Are you the woman a partner can trust in? Have you built your self esteem so that you are not insecure?
It is okay to make a list of our ideal man, if we are willing to change and become an ideal woman. The man you desire is out there, he will not come with all the characteristics you want but he has to have the most important ones. While you are waiting to meet him, spend some time courting yourself; identify if the qualities in you that wouldn’t want in your man and work on improving yourself not just for him but for you as well.